


In Lieu of Coal

by LikeASwitchInHeat



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Confessions, Costumes, Elf Link, M/M, Santa Kink, Santa Rhett, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:21:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LikeASwitchInHeat/pseuds/LikeASwitchInHeat
Summary: This gift is for the Mythical fandom! Someone from the Wishlist requested:Link is especially naughty this year and has to sit on Santa!Rhett’s lap to confess.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 14
Kudos: 42
Collections: Mythical Secret Santa 2019





	In Lieu of Coal

GMM was wrapping up its last episode before bringing the season to a close for the holidays. The More was laid back and conversational. There was also a bonus game where the crew read descriptions of winter holiday traditions from around the world, and Rhett and Link had to guess whether the traditions were slightly bizarre, but real; or if they were some wild fabrication made up by the crew. If the guys thought the tradition was real, they would hold up a paddle, displaying the green side with the word ‘ _ Elf _ -firmative. If they thought that it was fake, they would hold up the red side of the paddle and display the white decorative font reading Ho-ho- _ NO! _

“And,” Link added, holding up a finger, “Whoever loses has to wear a Santa suit, and allow our Mythical Crew to line up to sit on his lap and hear what they all want for Christmas! We’ll have all  _ that _ available on all our social media platforms!” Link then looked over to Rhett with a playful grin. “And I’ll be hopin’ you lose, since you’ve already got the beard for it.”

Rhett matched his teasing with a sly smile of his own, and a subtle head tilt that made Link’s stomach flutter. “But you’ve got the snow white hair, so - it’s anyone’s game!”

With sheer luck on his side, and a generous - if not unfair - degree of points weighing on the last question, Link did win the game. And Rhett did don the Santa suit.

Link was under no obligation to participate in Rhett’s punishment stunt. But he had elected to wear an elf costume that was arguably sillier than the whole santa thing. He put on an exceedingly animated and cheery elf persona as he ushered the crew members through the line for their turn to sit on Santa’s lap. 

“How many of y’all been good this year?” He would rhetorically toss out to the crew, taking note of their mixed bag of giggles and rolling eyes. “Hm. I don’t see a lot of hands. You’re gonna need a lot of coal this year, Santa! Just for this group alone…”

On one very real level, Link did suspect that the video was better and more entertaining with both of them in it. But he was more highly motivated by the opportunity to dress up in costume and parade around for Rhett. Sure, the elf outfit was silly, but it was also skin tight. Link hadn’t been skipping many days at the gym and he knew that the tone and definition he’d been honing would show through the thin, stretched layer of polyester. He took every opportunity to elongate his movements, and contort to flex his muscles for ‘Santa’.

Things had been… interesting between him and Rhett lately. And lately was a term nearly as stretchy as the elf suit. The tension had been building for years; and Link wasn’t so oblivious as to not notice that this particular pot had begun to boil over. The innuendo, small touches, and stolen glances spilling into the show. 

Link had decided midway through the season to take this bull by the horns and make something happen between them by the Christmas break. All the ingredients were there, and Link might not know his way around the kitchen - but not even he could mess this up! 

Once their stunt was over, they headed back to their office. Rhett announced that he was ready to get out of his Kris Kringle getup. 

Link saw an opening and went for it. 

”Just leave it on for a sec,” he requested. “He chewed on his bottom lip, and took a breath to steel his nerves before he continued. “I haven’t even told ya how I’ve behaved this year.”

Rhett chuckled. “Well, as your best friend and business partner, I happen to know that you… You’ve done all right this year, Neal. And I’ll, uh… bring ya a new smoothie maker and a jar of peanut butter to slip under the tree for Christmas, all right?”

“Sit down,” Link asked gently. 

Rhett looked like he was beginning to sweat, and Link didn’t think it was all to do with the bulk of the Santa suit.

“Link. You’re not really gonna sit on my…?” 

Link did his best to convey with only his eyes the earnestness that was burning deep in his gut, and Rhett easily gave in with a shrug and sat himself down. 

Link settled onto Rhett’s lap, and rested his hands in his own.

With no cameras or crew to witness this Santa act, Rhett didn’t seem to know how to conduct himself. His eyes searched Link’s, looking like he wished Link would speak so he would have some kind of clue as to where he was going with all this. 

Link cleared his throat. “I’ve been… bad, Santa.”

“That so?” Rhett probed softly.

“Oh yeah, Santa. Real  _ naughty. _ ”

“Well,” Rhett clearer his throat awkwardly. “As an elf, you should understand that this isn’t exactly a confessional. You’re just supposed to tell me what you want. I mean,” Rhett quickly added, “what you would like for Christmas.”

Link’s voice was soft as he replied. “You don’t wanna know how I’ve misbehaved Santa?”

Link watched Rhett’s entire upper body shift with the depth of his deep inhale. 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. 

“Listen here, little elf. Right now I’m not privy to the details of your self-alleged…  _ misbehavings _ . So there ain’t much I can do about it. Which is fine by me, because as you can imagine, Santa’s got a lot on his plate this time of year. But--”

Link grinned. He didn’t know exactly where Rhett was going with this, but he certainly liked the way he was matching Link’s tone. 

“--if you tell me what you’ve done, and I deem it to be especially naughty, I don’t know if I can until Christmas morning to deliver your lumps of coal. Y’understand? I might see fit to punish you right here and now.”

_ Fuck, yes. _

“Well, Santa. I like to tease my coworker.”

“That. Doesn’t sound very nice of you…”

“Oh, I think he loves it. But that makes it even naughtier. I act all innocent, but I’m a grown man, Santa. I know what I’m doing when get close to him. Or look at him a certain way. My word choice. The way I move my body. I just want him to notice me. And I don’t care how I get the attention.”

Link could sense Rhett’s body tensing. His hands had gone white in the knuckles from clenching his fists at his sides. 

Link subtly squirmed in his lap before continuing. 

“And that’s not all, Santa… I have impure thoughts.”

“Who doesn’t?” Rhett countered, trying to keep at least a little bit of his cool. 

“They’re about you.”

Rhett’s jaw dropped.

“I think dirty,  _ filthy _ thoughts about you.  _ All _ the time, R--  _ Santa. _ ”

Rhett remained speechless. But he wasn’t cussing Link out, or kicking him out of his lap. That was all the encouragement Link needed.

“And then I  _ do _ naughty things while I’m thinkin’ ‘em. I touch myself, Santa. In my most private places. Always imagining you. A lot of times imagining it’s you doin’ the touching. I can’t usually stop myself until I’ve…  _ White Christmased  _ all over myself.”

“Gosh... “ was all the response Rhett seemed able to put together.

“I’ve heard the caroles and all, they say you can see me when I’m sleeping or awake. Does that mean you know what else I do in my bed between waking and sleeping. Or the nasty dreams I have of you and me once I am asleep? They say you know if I’ve been bad or good, so… Did you know, Santa? Did you know this whole time what a naughty elf you’ve had workin’ with you? Did you know how bad I wanted your candy cane when you invited me up here into your lap?”

“I think I’ve heard more than  _ enough  _ outta you,” Rhett panted harshly. 

Link’s heart sank for a second at Rhett’s harsh words, wondering if he’d gone too far. Then Rhett reached down and came back up with the paddle that he’d used in the game earlier. 

“Bend over.”

“Bend over what? Your knee? What’re you gonna…? Are you gonna  _ spank _ me with that.”

A small smile played over Rhett’s lips behind his fluffy beard. 

“ _ Elf-firmative _ .” 

Link felt a thrill as he awkwardly folded himself over Rhett’s lap. He was very aware of how tight his leggings would be stretched across his rear end. He was exposed; perfectly presented. He stuck his butt out a little more for Santa. He felt the strain of the stretchy fabric across his perfectly perky and round cheeks, and could only imagine how good he looked displayed like that for Rhett’s pleasure. 

“If you want me to stop, just… uh, say ‘jingle bells’.”

Link nodded absently, feeling Rhett’s finger trace a line down Link’s spine. It was like he had cast some sort of relaxation spell on Link’s body. Link was no longer arching and presenting, like the naughty elf that he wanted to be for Rhett; he was suddenly incapable of being anything except soft and pliable, draped across Rhett’s lap. 

The spell of zen-like peace that Link was insulated in was shattered, and he hissed as Rhett’s big hand landed on his backside. 

The sting faded quickly, but was instantly reignited with the second and third smacks that landed. The position drove his hips forward into the side of Rhett’s thigh, and he realized how the friction was causing him to grow hard. He hoped Rhett noticed it too.

The cool wood of the paddle rested against his warmed backside, and Rhett gently massaging his lower back. Rhett peeled up the lower flaps of Link’s green and red-trimmed costume shirt, folding it up over at the golden belt that wrapped around his tiny waist until the dimples above his hip bones were exposed. 

Link jumped when he felt the paddle connect with his cheeks. He hissed out another breath when the paddle landed again in the same place. 

“Naughty little thing.” Rhett’s voice was soft, with very little inflection. But the paddle added all the affect that he needed as he punctuated each word with harder and harder smacks. Link had to bite back a cry.

“Unacceptable, Link.”

Rhett’s warm hand rubbed his shoulder, brushed the nape of his neck - making him shiver - and then trailed down his spine, soothing sensation radiating pleasantly through his body; remnants of the sting. Link’s body silently cried out for more stimulation. 

“If you wanna be a bad elf, and think naughty thoughts, and touch yourself when you’re thinkin’ em... You can’t be waiting  _ all freakin’ year  _ to tell ‘Santa’.

Link’s neediness was not so silent anymore as he was opening groaning for Rhett to touch him again. Caress him, hit him, fuck him.  _ Anything _ .

"You should have told  _ me _ ." 

The line between real life and whatever game they were playing was well past blurry, but Link still didn’t know what Rhett wanted from him right now. 

“I… I’m tellin’ you now?”

“Hmm…” Rhett said in a low, warm growl. “I guess you are. A little later than I woulda liked, but better late than never I suppose. And you tellin’ me has made me… real happy. And you have been taking your punishment so well. So I’ll tell you what, I’m going to give you ten hard, fast strokes--”

Link’s cock twitched in his pants at the mention of  _ strokes _ . He knew Rhett meant with the paddle, but  _ fuck _ he was horny.

“--and then…” Rhett gently squeezed Link’s outside hip. 

Then what? Link wondered desperately. The possibilities, while not endless, definitely seemed more vast than when they had started.

“Pull down your pants.”

Link swallowed hard, but he didn’t ask questions. He peeled the elf-green tights down over his bottom, down his thighs, leaving them to bunch around his knees.

“Is that far enough?”

“Perfect,” Rhett assured him. “Beautiful. Gosh, Link… Your ass is glowing red and shiny like Rudolph’s freakin nose.”

Link knew that by this point, the cheeks on his face would be blushing pink to match. Just knowing that Rhett was staring as his bare ass like that... He whimpered a soft “ _ Please…” _ Absently nodding his head  _ yes _ to a question that Rhett had not even asked aloud.  _ Yes _ , he was ready. 

And then he braced himself.

The first strike was hard, cracking loudly through the room. Link flinched, but wasn’t given the chance to catch his breath before the next one came down. He silently counted the strikes, breathing heavier and heavier as Rhett worked toward that magic number. 

“Oh fuck,” Link muttered, beginning to sweat. He didn’t think he was gonna make it. Another crack against his skin, rubbing his clock into Rhett’s leg… “Rhett, I can't—“

“You can. Two more. You’re doin’ so good, Link.”

“I’m too—“

“You can say  _ jingle bells _ , or you can let me finish. And then maybe you can  _ finish _ . You can do this Link. I’m already so proud of you.”

Link held his breath, and nodded. “You just. You better freakin hurry, man. I’m about to bust!”

Link’s sass was simultaneously punished and rewarded by an extra harsh clap of the paddle, making Link yelp; he had to grit his teeth and hold his breath, using every ounce of willpower to keep the cresting wave of his orgasm from crashing down on him. 

_ Eight.  _

_ Nine. _

_ Ten _ ? he silently begged. 

_ Ten _ ?

_ C’mon, ten! _

Finally, the last blow fell, and Link blew out his exhale as a howling groan as his simultaneously blew his load all over Rhett’s Santa suit. 

Rhett dropped the paddle, and frantically yanked the tights off of Link’s legs, freeing his limbs from their polyester decorative bindings. He settled Link onto his lap, straddling where he had previously been folded across it. Link wrapped trembling arms and legs around his big Santa. Clinging to him for dear life. 

Rhett looked down at Link softly. “I need to kiss you right now. I mean, can I kiss you? I--”

Link pulled Rhett’s face down to crush against his, kissing him hard and deep. Rhett’s hands settled cupped on Link’s tender, round ass. 

The delicate touch felt nice on Link’s skin, causing Link to hum into their kiss before they reluctantly separated for a breath. 

“I’m sorry.” Link’s voice was a whisper against Rhett’s lips. “I’m sorry I never said anything.”

“Well, to be fair, neither did I.”

Link’s lips softened into a smile. 

“Guess we got a lot to talk about over the break.”

“We’ll talk later, if that’s all right with you.” Rhett stood up, and carried Link over toward the couch. “I told you earlier, I’m  _ desperate _ to get out of this suit.”


End file.
